Radiating Goodness

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“It isn’t the great big pleasures that count the most;
It’s making a big deal out of the little ones.”
~Jean Webster

I can feel the positivity radiating from my soul.  For the first time in many years, I can feel the energy I am putting out into the universe coming back to me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Opportunities – New Friendships – Renewed Confidence – Happiness.

These are all experiences or feelings that seemed fleeting (sometimes nonexistent) over the past few years.  I could look back and say it was this event or that relationship or my previous job that allowed me to reach the point of feeling “lost.” In reality it wasn’t any one of those things, rather it was my choice to not allow myself to find or recognize the good in the bad. Maybe a little bit of avoidance and fear in dealing with the issues that were bringing up the negative emotions too.

When I began this journey of redefining my life road map, I had to consciously tell myself to look for the positive and to see things as opportunities rather than my own personal catastrophes.  Then I had an A-HA moment yesterday. I was overwhelmed with such positive feelings – about my job, my volunteer opportunities, and myself.  It just bubbled up throughout the day, and the words “radiating goodness” kept running through my mind.  It was as if my subconscious was letting me know I had arrived on my blissful road – no longer did I have to constantly tell myself – look for the good, Stacy.  I’m certain I will need to remind myself to stay positive on this journey, and there will be detours and speed bumps along the way.

Right now, I am enjoying the bliss of feeling confident in who I am, and a job where I know I am appreciated and recognized for even the smallest accomplishments (like the time I drove to the airport in record time to take my boss his driver’s license that I forgot to give back to him after making a copy of it. Seriously, my boss was thankful to make his flight – thanks for teaching me how to drive defensively Dad).  OK, maybe that wasn’t a good example of a small accomplishment at work – sure felt like it though – but I digress.

What I want to tell you is don’t overlook the goodness that radiates from you.  It will draw positive opportunities and people in your direction.  Plus you’ll pass it on – It may be your smile or an energy you give off, or it may be the words you say to someone.  A friend said something to me last week, and a few days later I kept thinking about our conversation and the impact it had on me.  It was just what I needed to hear to boost my confidence.  I called him last night just to say thank you for making me feel good about myself.  I wanted him to know that it mattered to me. It may have seemed insignificant to him, but I wanted to be sure he knew it was worth the big deal I was making of it.  Spread the Goodness!

What goodness do you have to share?  What goodness has someone passed on to you?

 

Family Ties

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“At its best, family is the home we carry inside of us, a haven in a troubled word.  And even at its most trying, family still helps us, expanding our capacity for tolerance and escorting us (sometimes kicking and screaming) into new realms of understanding.”
~O Magazine, December 2001

Family Drama.  Every family has their own version of it, and my family is certainly no exception.  My family divided like the Red Sea when I was in my late twenties.  My parents and two oldest siblings on one side, and my other sister and I on the other.  From the outside looking in, my family appeared to be a “normal” family – two loving parents and four kids. Growing up, we sat down to dinner together every night, and had Sunday family dinners with relatives and/or significant others.  Despite being so much younger than my siblings, we all played together whether it was kick the can in the street with the rest of the neighborhood kids, late night swims in our pool, or shooting hoops in our backyard.  While that image of normal did exist, the inside view showed a more storied version.  Eventually, that storied version led to an estrangement that has lasted for nearly twelve years.  What led to that great divide is of little importance to this post – it is in the past (and remember, I’m traveling a new road which is about the present and moving forward.)

This blog post isn’t about the drama,  it’s about how, despite the dysfunction,  family is the one constant (at least in my life) that continually teaches me more about myself than any other experience or relationship.  After twelve years, I recently went back home to visit my sister and to reconcile with my parents.  I was very open to spending time with my mom and dad again, but I didn’t know what to expect from them or what they expected of me or from me. Surprisingly, I was calm about the whole thing.  Sure, I was nervous, but my mind wasn’t riddled with questions. Rather it as filled with answers – I told myself “If anyone wants to rehash the past, I will calmly say that we have all been hurt in one way or another but I’m here to let go of that and to move forward with you one day at a time.” I let go of my fears, I arrived in Tampa with no expectations, and to my surprise – my answers worked.  I was open to the possibilities the long weekend would bring, and feel confident that the result is the start of a new relationship with my family.

Without my family (dysfunction), I’m not sure I would have come to be the person I am today.  I’m a compassionate, hard-working, and loving individual with a great deal of strength, courage, and independence.  I have a fighting spirit that, I know for sure, developed from the examples set forth by family. I’m grateful for my family and what they have taught me.  And I quite like who I’ve become.

There is an Italian saying about family – Chi si volta, e chi si gira, sempre a casa va finire – No matter where you go or turn, you will always end up at home.

What have you learned about yourself from your family experiences?

Catch and Release

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“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world – not even our troubles.”
~Charlie Chaplin

Let go.  Purge.  Forgive.  Move on.

We hear these phrases all too often when we talk with our friends or family about whatever those things are that we hang on to, and that slowly eat away at us.  Sure, ok, but it is really much easier said than done.  What does it really mean to do all those things?  How do you let go?

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago when I was reading an article in the most recent issue of O Magazine about making your home a sanctuary that “Letting Go” clicked for me.  The article was based on a book called Soul Space by Xorin Balbes.  The idea is that we live in a hectic world, and when we come home, we should feel like we are being welcomed into our own personal retreat.  The article was timely, as I have been in a purge all the “stuff” from my apartment craze.  I can purge with the best of them – the air mattress I haven’t used in 4 years.  Gone.  The tax returns from the 90s – shredded.

After reading the article, I started looking at all of my “stuff” through different eyes.  It was no longer a question of “Have I used this in the last 6 months?”  Now, the question “How does this make me feel?” became part of my routine.  What I realized is that while I do a good job of purging old clothes or other household items at least twice a year, I don’t do such a good job of purging the things that hold emotional value, especially those that bring up old feelings of hurt, heartbreak, or just hold no value at all anymore.  This purging craze has taken on a whole new meaning.

In the span of one week, I came across a handful of things that washed me over with all the emotions of an old heartbreak.  Letters (the handwritten kind) and photos.  I’m not ready to let go of them just yet (and I’m not sure I ever will be), but what I did find is that I felt all those emotions of loss and love again.  After a little time passed and I sorted through more things, I had this A-ha moment. I had let go in that instant.  I set the love and the hurt free.  I realized it was a wonderful time in my life, and I have so many amazing memories that I don’t need to let the rest of it define me (or make me think I am anything less than awesome and worthy of great things).  I decided right then that I can no longer allow the hurt and anger take the front seat on my new journey toward bliss.  Letting go is hard.  Forgiveness is hard.  I had to allow myself to really feel the loss, but then had to make the decision to turn the page.  Life is like those old books where you could choose what happened next.  I want to see where this life takes me when I choose to turn the page to a new chapter.

Let Go.  Purge. Forgive.  Move On.
None of it means forgetting about the past, it just means we are opening ourselves up to the possibilities that lie ahead.  Only this time, we have some experience under our belts.

One Girl’s Journey Toward Bliss

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Come along and join me on this journey toward complete happiness, bliss!

So here begins my journey – the one I want to be on – toward a blissful life.  In the summer of 2012 it became clear to me that my life wasn’t traveling down the road I had imagined for myself.  I was unhappy in my job and with who I was in general.  This wasn’t some new a-ha moment – it was a slow, downward journey, and I had allowed fear to steer me down a path I didn’t want to be on.  Some amazing opportunities and individuals came into my life last summer, and all of a sudden that road map was destroyed.  I had to draw a new map for myself.  I’m sure the road will be bumpy, and fear will certainly try to reroute my navigational beacon, but I’m confident I’ll read the signs more carefully on this newly charted journey.

I’ll share my stories of facing fears and finding joy on the other side, and overcoming  speed bumps to arrive at triumphs.  I hope you’ll join me and see if we can help each other experience bliss in the everyday things. The moments may be small and fleeting at times, but all those small moments add up to a life full of bliss.